My kids and I have been focusing lately on being “master creators”. It’ been a fun concept to explore with a 6 and 9 year old. They totally understand it too, as so much of our time as children consists of building things, painting things, imagining things. Their minds are still aware that each moment they are creating something. What we are focusing on right now is being mindful of what we create with our feelings. It started with some negative self talk I was having with myself over, guess what, feeling that I was a subpar parent. I’m pretty sure I had lost my temper, yelled at them about something, and then felt super guilty about doing that. I sat in that shame for a bit, and thought, “Where did this feeling come from? I mean, I lost my temper and yelled, and that sucks, but why am I now spending valuable time shaming myself for it? Now that I’ve processed it, I’m ready to have a new thought.” So, I started thinking that if my thoughts and words have power, then I’m going to use that power to create what I do want.
Each morning now, the boys and I have been focusing on the feelings we want to create in our interactions with each other. Yesterday they chose happiness. We looked up the definition of happiness, synonyms for happiness that suited each of us, and then we painted a picture depicting that word for happiness and set our intentions to allow for happiness to be the outcome of our day. Was every moment we experienced ‘Happiness”??? Of course not, but were we able to help guide each other through the feelings we did process throughout the day towards our goal of happiness? Of course, because ultimately, that is what we wanted in our hearts. In a moment of frustration at some point in the day, the youngest called the oldest “worthless.” Ouch. But it was easy for both to release their feelings about that interaction when we decided to look for a way of expressing ourselves with the goal being happiness. So instead he came back and said, “You made me mad for not helping, but you are actually worth everything to me.” Gahhhhh……my heart melted into a big puddle with those words, and funny enough, instead of yelling at them for fighting, we all continued our drive in peaceful silence.
I’m no expert at this parenting thing, and I’m no psychologist either, but I know this much, when we can express our emotions freely and yet be powerful enough in our own thoughts to know that we are creating sunny skies or dark clouds on our emotional canvases, it’s a lot easier to decide what colors we will continue to paint with. Sadness can be beautiful when expressed in the right light and anger can motivate us towards a better outcome. These feelings become the background and our intent (Happiness), becomes the focal point of our painting.
Don’t be afraid to experience one second of your human-ness……but always remember your power, and paint the picture that best serves your heart.